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Friday, February 19, 2016

I is for -- Imagination.

I think that's what cats do during their daily sixteen-hour naps -- they put their imaginations to work and dream up stuff. The following is an example.

I had just finished reading Joanne's newest post, Rehabbing Horses Redux from our favorite blog, Horses in the Yard, and overheard this exchange:

Little Debbie (sighing): Well, that blog post was mostly boring!

Mattie: Au contraire! Remember the part about the lamb and something? Lamb and itis? I wonder if that’s like lamb stew. We should write that on the cat food list.

Little Debbie: Silly girl! Laminitis is a horse hoof inflammation, causing pain and lameness. Sheesh! 

Mattie: Excuuuuuse me! I don’t know anything about horses. But I did notice another thing, and there was even a photo. Did you notice?

Little Debbie: What?

Mattie: Horse boots. They are so clever! I want some, too.

Little Debbie (snorting): They wouldn’t begin to fit you! Your feet would swim in horse boots.

Mattie: How about CAT boots? Then I wouldn’t get sore feet from walking on the tile floors before the staff has swept up all the crumbs plus the cat litter you kick out of the litter box.

Little Debbie: Like you walk in the kitchen all that much – only when it’s time to eat. Otherwise you’re curled up and snoring on your warming pad.

Mattie: Granted, I wouldn’t wear them all that much. We don’t go outdoors -- which reminds me … dogs get to wear little boots so their owners can take them for walks in the rain and snow. Maybe cat boots could simply become a fashion statement. Hmmmmm.

Little Debbie (frowning): What do you mean?

Mattie: Well, wouldn’t I look real classy wearing little red cat boots -- such a fashionable contrast with my glossy black coat?

There’s even a famous story, “Puss in Boots.” I’ve seen pictures of him, very dashing in his black boots and feathered hat. I might even shop online to buy a sword and a red hat with a black feather. I’d look very, very cool!

... and removed december 2009 puss in boots shrek puss in boots character

Little Debbie: I suppose. What about me? What color cat boots would look good on me?

Mattie: Hmmmmm. You’ve got really wide paws. White boots would show up the white in your brown-black-white tabby coat but also make your feet look like aircraft carriers. Also, white boots will get dirty real fast. AND, I can hear it already. You’ll be clomping around like a two-year-old human boy who’s wearing his daddy’s shoes. Okay, then. Let’s move on. What about black boots?

Little Debbie: Ooooooooo, then I’ll look like Puss in Boots!

Mattie (choking with laughter): Um, no, you won’t. I guarantee it.

Little Debbie: True. I’ve got the wrong color coat, haven’t I.

Mattie: And you are a teeny weeny bit obese.

Little Debbie: I’m on a diet! I’m on a diet! Oh, and speaking of food, did you notice at the end of the blog post, she said, “These boots are wonderful for poulticing.” Isn't poultice like poultry? Does that mean we get KFC with our cat boots? Mmmmmmm, I LOVE chicken thighs!

Mattie: *sigh*